Dearest Husband

I have a serious problem. I was laying in bed thinking of you and noticed an empty DP next to me. Then I noticed one on the dresser. And then creeping in to my recollection, from somewhere in the trying to forget section of my brain, I slowly started to see all the bottles I have been drinking lately. I think I miss you terribly.

reasons why you love me...

List #1

dear husband,

I decided to start making lists

of reasons why you love me,

since you never know when I ask you.

today you love me because...

1. I can always find what you are looking for, quickly I might add.

2. I have brilliant ideas for your business and just life in general.

(should I be getting paid to be your consultant?)

3. I am the mother of the cutest boys on earth.

today I love you because...

1. You are the best Father, who was so excited about getting up his children today.

2. You're extremely handsome.

3. You always call me beautiful, even if I look horrendous.

I said them, but I lied them...

I know I said I was going to eat healthier and definitely no pop.

I said those words. I said them, but I lied them.

p.s.

I really tried!

Today I saw....

Sam and Eli discover Grass and not like it at first.

Sam learn to pull himself up on the furniture.

The love Eli has for his Grandpa.

Two big Semi's taking up the Highway, carrying airplane wings. So cool.

A beautiful lime green vintage looking bicycle with pink rims and maybe I backed up down a hill to ask the girls riding it where they got it and maybe I would like one for myself.

Oh, and I saw the sunshine which has been hiding the last few days.

Our Greatest Joys

being pregnant...

Sometimes I wish I was pregnant again

so I could feel that ridge of pressure pushing

out from under my ribs, touch that taut smooth

bulging dome that sloped down to the pubis

I could no longer see. I liked the way

the steering wheel would glide its half-ring

round and back just below my popped-out navel,

the moored sense of cradling a world inside.

The visitor I transported and fed was restless

as a bee and I enjoyed the delicate flutterings,

then the soft padded kicks and tiny fists

punching inside of me. I liked easing down

into bed, rolling on my side with anchoring

gravity, and in that great balancing act

of walking or going down stairs, I felt

acutely real, new life having filled the void

in which the flimsiest sense of self had tried,

and always failed, to lay its claim.

My vague disappointment disappeared,

and the detached miasma I drifted through,

an existence that had always seemed, before,

likely to fly out the window, or evaporate.

I had someone to be and someone to be for,

and although I was terrified of the helplessness

a women feels when life's most strenuous force

begins its rending, beyond pain's mitigation,

I was happily huge, joyfully holding.

-Gray Jacobik

...not that I am ready anytime soon, but you know this is how I feel about being pregnant.

for those who think they have fallen in love

in the sleepiness of a romantic night

the air is kissed again and again,

with the misted sound of

those who think they have fallen in love.

but for one who maliciously

melts thoughts together,

in the palm of your hand

I become strictly comedic.

understanding without recollection,

my smile becomes famous to you.

and then they realize

our laughter holds hidden

more love,

than a poem written over and over

becoming only perfect,

to the one who will cherish it.

so unlike the unsatisfied writer

our love of laughter is

exhaustively satisfying.

-Jill